A Confrontation With A Older Person
Original Poster: Big-Boss
Forum: Others
Posted On: 10-04-2007, 13:44
Orginal Post: Big-Boss: I'm 16 and this guy is 30 and my brother-in-law, his really an ***hole. Anyway his really an aggressive guy, his already beaten on both my sister's. His gettin on my nerves, his trying to interfere with my life which i rather not happen cause i tryin to focus on my training. But no one won't stand up to him, i live with my mother but when he comes he acts like his in charge. I've been thinking about just attacking by hitting him in the throat or heel-kicking him in the knee. Is this advisable at all, i am aware i could get me seriously injured including him, but im sick of it. Any suggestion would be welcome. I'm 108 pounds (i have a fast metabolism) and he's about my height but like 200 pounds.
Post: Triple T:
1) If he's beating your sisters, which as your brother-in-law would mean he's beating his wife, your best bet for getting him to stop is call the police. If your other sister is under the age of 18, you may even be able to call social services or whatever equivalent you have available.
2) If you don't live with the sister who's married to this guy, talk to your family about not letting him be around anyone other than his wife. She, at least on some level, tolerates the guy so she can be the one to spend time with him.
3) If you attacked him, you'd wind up making matters worse for everyone.
4) At the age of 16, in most states you can legally divorce your family and live on your own. If you need to, take this step. It's better to live alone than live with hostility.
5) If he threatens you or actually attacks you, aside from the criminal charges those acts bring, you can get a restraining or personal protection order. While a court order won't stop a fist, it adds a layer of security to you and your family.>
Post: zefff:
Dont fight with him, it will only bring more troubles to your family. Be there for your sisters and use your brain before your fists. Keep a diary of every incident as a catalogue of evidence for when/if the police get involved.>
Post: nbotary:
I'm sure that if he woke up one morning with a horse head laying in the bed next to him and a nice little note from you, he might start to change his ways...
Just out of curiosity, where is your father (or step-father if your parents are divorced) in all of this??? If he's around, does he know any of this is going on??? If any man ever raised a hand to my daughter, you can bet your ass you'd be seeing my face on every newscast in the country!!!
First of all you need to use your brain to beat this guy. Here are my suggestions...
You need to contact the authorities and find out what the law does and does not protect you from. You need to be fully aware of any and all consequences of any physical action that occurs from either party. You may be underage, but that doesn't mean you won't spend any time in juvie if you do something stupid. Unfortunately, your sister is the only one who can ultimately put a stop to him and his behavior by separating or divorcing herself from him and getting him out of your lives.
I agree with zefff in that you should try and document everything as often as possible. Maybe carry a mini tape recorder with you, a camera - something that can record any evidence of abuse. Shit, if you have to, set up a hidden camera in the house that can cover a large enough area and pick up audio. Have it set to record whenever he's around. If he does anything stupid, file your police report and present your proof in court.
If you're clever enough, maybe you could get some "illegal" materials and have them planted at his house or in his car - don't forget about your fingerprints!!! Make an "anonymous" phone call to the police and let him try and explain his way out of it. Even something as small as a misdemeanor will fuck his world up, especially if he get's arrested.
For the record - I neither condone nor condemn the above mentioned idea - as far fetched as it may be nor do I condone cruelty to animals.
Bottom line is this - get the authorities involved. They can make life a living hell for this guy if they're in it enough...>
Post: Big-Boss:
Thank you for your suggestions, unfortunately though a good thing that even 16 yrs old can be charged as an adult and go to an adult prison aswell. If it does occur i will contact authorities, but hopefully i do have the right to defend myself if attacked. Though nowadays the criminal can look like victim and getaway with it. Thx anyway>
Post: bamboo:
Boss- In this day and age if you do something and it gets out of hand, the authorities can find on your computer how you came to this site seeking advice on how to hurt a man. As noble as your intentions may be in defending your family, youv'e just established that your thinking of doing something- Thats premeditation.
Be careful.>
Post: Big-Boss:
Yeah i thought about that before i made the thread. I asked for advice and you guy's gave me the wiser choice, so i'll stick with that unless my backs cornered. Truthfully i rather not to have this escalate into serious problems either. But know that i have the knowledge you can delete or close this thread if u wish too.>
Post: zefff:
This is why regardless of the scenario, its always unwise to fight with people who know who you are or where you live...
...repercussions.>
Post: nbotary:
Bamboo - I understand, see and agree with you on the pre-meditated act, although I don't see specifically where he's actually asking us to offer him advice on how to attack someone. He's stated that he's thought about specific actions, but he also asks if this is advisable and seems to be aware of the consequences. The irony is that we have all thought about retribution on someone at some point or another. Whether we carry out the act is our own responsibility. I took this more as him asking what he should do as opposed to attacking someone, but I could be wrong. In any event, I agree with you that his asking could be interpreted as pre-meditation.
Big-Boss - you seem to be a pretty intelligient guy. I applaude you for trying to find a more non-violent solution to your problem. That shows a lot of maturity. Ultimately our advice to you is the same - violence is not the solution to your problem. Contact the authorities and let them handle the situation.>
Post: dscott:
Nbotary: I don't think Bamboo is worried that if something happens it will be linked back to us and get us in trouble. I think he's worried that this is proof that Big-Boss premeditated his attack. The courts look differently because it wouldn't be self defense as much because it's "planned".>
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