Testing, avoiding, and aftermath
Original Poster: bamboo
Forum: Others
Posted On: 26-07-2005, 14:34
Orginal Post: bamboo: Heres a situation for you all to ponder. What would do as the instructor or as other students?
The names, dates, ranks and situation has been changed to protect the innocent. :wink:
We're doing kyu tests at our dojo in july, we have 8 people up for testing (1st time sensei has tested people in roughly 16 months!) and there was supposed to be 3 guys testing for 6th kyu (1st rank 6-1 then dan ranking), well I put up the notice for sensei about who was going to test and for what rank, that was 1 month ago. Only one of those three has shown up in the past month. One of the missing (as it turns out) came to the dojo, saw the notice and told another guy he would be back after the test!
I was shocked to say the least. If he does not want to test he should say so, I can respect someone not interested in rank, yet by avoiding the club for two months, he will not only lose alot of what he knew (he's been around for about 6-7 months) but he rund the risk of losing the respect of I think almost all the instructors (well, 3 of the 4) by simply avoiding the situation.
Its not a matter of money, it costs $35cdn to register rank with the org. but sensei often waves and pays the fees of the students himself for the 1st test.
I'm not sure how to handle this guy, should I care? Should I continue to work hard with him knowing he could easily just skip out at any time when the "pressure is on". (6th kyu :roll: )
Is this my own ego or rather feelings of being betrayed after working hard with him for months on end, which turns back to that damned ego monster.
Anyway, I'd love to hear input from you all.
cheers,
bamboo
Post: Gong||Jau:
I think what you should do really depends on why he's choosing to do this. Hopefully you have some way of contacting him, since if you don't see him until after the test it will be too late (obviously). If you manage to talk to him, you can find out whether he just doesn't want to hold rank (and then explain that you understand), or whether he's just afraid to test.>
Post: Tease T Tickle:
People will be who they are regardless of who you have been to them. I've recently undergone some betrayals as well, and it really sucks, but there's nothing you can do or say to stop somebody from being what they are.
If he comes back, continue to train with him like you would any stranger off the street who joined your school. There is no need for special treatment when a person has not demonstrated how they are special.
You can still care, it means you're human, but you cannot allow your instinctual reactions to overwhelm your wisdom.>
Post: bamboo:
Thanks guys.
I'll certainly take what you wrote into consideration.
Quote: If he comes back, continue to train with him like you would any stranger off the street who joined your school. There is no need for special treatment when a person has not demonstrated how they are special.
I'm inclined to agree. I have to stop trying to "help" everyone and help those that help themselves.
I never dreamed learning to be a teacher would teach me so much.
-bamboo>
Post: nbotary:
Patience young grasshopper, patience!!! At my school, once a student passes the 3 yr. mark they become eligible to be an instructor (although it usually takes more than 3 yrs. for it to actually happen). I had made it to that point and heard rumors from serveral trusted sources that I was recommended by several of my instructors to become an instructor. I took in all in stride and decided not to dwell on it. If I were to be made an instructor, great! If not, that was fine too. Needless to say, I wasn't asked and another guy with only 3 months on me was. At first, I was pissed as hell becuase everytime I showed up for class, I busted my ass and came away drenched in sweat. Whenever I sparred with him as a fellow student, I constantly kicked his ass. When he showed up, he NEVER went through warmups or forms or anything else for that matter. I had no respect for him as an instructor becuase I felt he had not put in the time or the work to do what it took to be an instructor. I was told that some of the other instructors were also disappointed that I was not with them and I knew that they didn't respect him as a fellow instructor.
Unfortunately, a wonderful change in my family situation had taken me away for awhile, but I am now able to get back to training like I was and I hope to be an instructor someday soon. When I am able to show up for classes, the instructor all work with me even more so to make sure that I become an instructor and a very good one at that. They don't treat me any differently than somone who has just started or someone who has been there more than me.
It's understandable that you feel betrayed for spending time and energy training them, but you still need to be the bigger man and just treat them how you would want to be treated.>
Post: zefff:
why the hell would anyone really want to rush to be an instructor? You can do that later when you are old!
If we have that desire in our heads arent we missing the point of training? If you want to give something to people go become a charity volunteer.
If you go into the gym/kwoon/dojo and are more concerned with other peoples progression or how far up the rankings you are then you are being distracted by your own ego. If you feel someone owes you something (respect, acknowledgement, rank test) then I would say the same.
you pay for quality time and quality instruction in your training sessions so why not try to attend with a quality frame of mind too? Being inwardly honest and focused on yourself and your own development will rub off on others and they will become more constructive and therefore not piss you off when you see them leaning up the wall swinging that black belt to and fro! :lol:
NOI to you nbotary, this post is a general response to your post as the situation you described is a pet peev of mine. I get annoyed with people who only want to achieve goals and so miss the finer points of basic elements and want to impact that way of thinking on me. What really bothers me is when people get annoyed with me and think I must be nuts for wanting to work on nothing but my jab (or whatever) all night.
Personally, in Wing Chun I am on 3rd level now but TBH I am still busy and content learning from the 1st level!
peace bros.>
Post: nbotary:
Zefff - I see your point and respect your opinion. However, I think I left the impression that I am in a rush to become an instructor when actually I am not. I am happy being a student, however, I am often times asked to help instruct students that come in or fellow classmates as I am one of the senior students in the class. I enjoy that aspect of it along with the other stuff I do. It's just a goal - like someone getting a black belt. That's all it is. To become an instructor in my school is very difficult and it says to me that not only have I earned the trust and respect of my sifu, but the trust and respect of the other instructors. Sifu is the final decision maker, but the instructors - especially the senior ones - are allowed to provide their input. Knowing that they respect me as a student is just one incentive for me to train harder and get closer to one of the goals that I have set for myself.>
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