The importance of confidence
Original Poster: The BadBoy
Forum: Others
Posted On: 30-03-2007, 20:13
Orginal Post: The BadBoy: How important is it to be confident in martial arts? Do our coaches & instructors try to build our confidence or do they break it down by belittling us; be it through jibes or letting us tee off on one another in sparring? What can we do as athletes and coaches to increase both our confidence and that of our clients/students etc?
Post: nbotary:
You know, it's funny you bring this up because I was just thinking about it the other day...
I think there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. As a student, I know that the only way to build my confidence is to have a teacher or instructor push me just beyond what I think I'm capable of. However, if they don't do it right, it will crush any confidence that I've tried to build. I know he's going to kill me, but I'm going to use Bloodybirds as an example...
When I first started working out with him, I knew full well that he could kick my ass up and down without ever breaking a sweat. Often times I would try to set the pace by being slow and trying to flow into things. However, I felt that a lot of times, Bloodybirds was competing with me to prove his superiority because he would punch/kick/counter/chin na faster than I was able to keep up. That being said, I resolved myself to the fact that I knew I was going to get hit - both hard and often. Once I got over that obstacle, I was able to relax more and just try and learn from my mistakes. Thankfully, Bloodybirds and I became friends over the years, so our student/teacher relationship was a lot looser and I was able to tell him candidly what would frustrate me about training with him. I flat out told him that I am not able to keep pace with him and learn from him if he's going at a level that I'm not able to perform at. After some time, he really started to see my frustration and realized that sub-consciously he may be trying to compete with me and he started to back the pace down.
What he was trying to accomplish with me was to raise my confidence and skill level. However, as a teacher, he recognized that something was not working and looked for a different approach in order to help get me where I wanted to go. I have learned a tremendous amount from him. In fact, I had been training with him for some time and had been away from Sifu Bolt's class when we noticed the improvement. I had gone into Sifu Bolt's class one Saturday and after class, I started to free spar with one of the three best fighting instructors. Within minutes, I was fighting at a faster, yet more relaxed pace and doing things that I had previously been hesitant to do or try. When we were finished, the instructor turned to me and said, "I can tell you've been training with Mike." I asked how he knew and he said that he could tell by my movements and my techniques. He even went on to say that I had become three times better a fighter than I had been before. Needless to say, I was ecstatic about the compliment, especially since it came from this particular instructor.
I also noticed that I was being asked to help teach some of the other students and show them how to run certain forms or perform certain techniques. I think this was due more to the fact that I was a senior student and sometimes our student/teacher ratio was not very favorable. But, I also ask myself what would I accomplish by competing with this person??? Am I going to feel better as a person/instructor/teacher/martial artist by trying to prove I can do something better than they can??? The answer is always "no" - except for one time, but that's another story...
In any event, I have always tried to make sure I put my ego in check when I practice with someone. I have taken the approach that I need to be confident in my ability to take care of myself if I need to, but I don't go around and compare myself to other students because I don't know where they are in their training. In so far as the fighting goes, I look at it as if I'm able to keep up with an instructor and not get slaughtered, then I should be able to handle myself against some average Joe off the street who is not trained. Notice the key word being "should" - I also take the approach that someone I don't know, knows something I don't. By assuming they can fight too, it keeps my ego out of the picture. The ego will kill your confidence the first time you get beat.
Make sure you are stressing that confidence comes with time and patience, but that ego and arrogance will get you killed every time.>
Post: Triple T:
I had two full paragraphs of stuff I was going to say. Then I thought of a totally different direction to go in. Then I thought I should wait and see what others say. Then I realized that this was a silly way to do things.
I don't think coaches should go out of their way to bring up or bring down confidence. Confidence comes from experience, from seeing first hand what one can do. If I had a student who just flat out sucked at kickboxing, I wouldn't try to ramp him up and make him think he's good. He'll get hurt that way. If I had a student who was a walking tank, I wouldn't try to keep him humble because as long as he keeps winning, he's right when he brags. If his mouth gets him into trouble, that's his fault. Furthermore, experience is the best teacher. A good coach shouldn't try to supplaint that.>
Post: Gazelle:
A teacher is there to teach. Can one teach confidence? One can encourage it. But, whatever this might lead to...i think the best way to teach (and the way i try to do it), is to be realistic, but, that does not mean that you should bring people up or down intentionally. You should convey the information in the most positive way possible (that sounds terrible), i mean, if there is a problem with a technique, for example, then tell them what they are doing wrong, but don't jibe them and mock them, tell them how they are doing it wrong and what they can do to correct it. Take small steps. There is no point giving them 10 things they have to do to correct something, just stick with maybe max 3, depending on what you are doing. Of course, given they were doing something in not the best way, or even, incorrectly they will be uncertain (unless it was a mistake, or they are cocky) and looking for reassurance. If you think there is an improvement tell them, and what it was, if you think they have done well, praise them, if they have done worse or no better, tell them, put encourage them that it is not a hopeless cause...a teachers job is to teach, and to do it effectively, they need to read their student. Undertand what helps them do better, and what sort of encouragement or experience they require to get them at the confidence level you think is appropriate, in an appropriate fashion. The teacher is the one taking the class, they are able to control who they spar with, who they train with. If they think one person in a situation would be good, then they can ensure they end up with them.
A teacher does what s/he believes is good for the student to learn. If that involves giving them more encouragement, then so be it. But, at the end of the day, though a teacher can mean a lot, it is in the end up to the student. They can not feed them the skills, or the mentality on a silver platter.>
Post: The BadBoy:
I'm looking at it from a coaching point of view. I have beginners at my boxing gym who don't do so well in sparring mainly because they lack the confidence to let their hands go. I took one aside and had a chat with him, ramping him up. letting him know he had good hands etc. When he went into the next round he let his hands go and did a hell of a lot better than his last sparring session. I feel it is the coaches job to build the confidence of his client so that he tries things he may otherwise be to gun shy to try.>
Post: Gazelle:
Quoting: The BadBoy;48594 I'm looking at it from a coaching point of view. I have beginners at my boxing gym who don't do so well in sparring mainly because they lack the confidence to let their hands go. I took one aside and had a chat with him, ramping him up. letting him know he had good hands etc. When he went into the next round he let his hands go and did a hell of a lot better than his last sparring session. I feel it is the coaches job to build the confidence of his client so that he tries things he may otherwise be to gun shy to try.
If it enhances their ability, they should. Some people just will never get confidence unless they are given such a 'talk' initially to boast their faith.>
Post: The BadBoy:
But that said, I honestly believe that true confidence come from past performances and experiences. Unless you have an experience which will solidify your confidence for you, I think your living in denial.
For example, a Shotokan Practitioner who thinks he's the baddest man on the planet cause his technique is very crisp and is great at kata and three point sparring. That in my opinion is false confidence and living in denial.>
Post: dscott:
Confidence comes with experience but some people can't see it. I'm that type of person. I'm not a confident person in anything I do. From work to sports to martial arts. If people tell me I'm doing a good job or whatever, it helps me realize.>
Post: nbotary:
BadBoy - that was my point about the difference between confidence and arrogance. I know a lot of students who are great at forms and have a clean technique. However, you put them in a "live" situation and they freeze up and get their ass kicked every time.
The way I see it is that if you teach someone a specific technique, you have to present them with the opportunity to do that technique so that it becomes "natural". What good would it do you and/or your student to teach them how block and counter and you don't give them opportunity to use it???
I think what you did was great. As a student, sometimes it just takes a little reassurance that you're going to be okay. Sifu Bolt and Bloodybirds are great about letting you actually hit them when sparring. They do it to help build confidence in what you've learned and to let you "see and feel" your technique. They also use techniques that are slightly above your skill level in order to gauge what you need to focus on learning/correcting.
It sounds like you're a good and patient coach. I hope your students are as excited to learn from you as you are to teach them.
Tease - I agree that if the guy is a badass, he's got the right to brag. But, how oftern do you see a fighter like that get his ass royally handed to him and become humble??? Moreover, could you or would you want to learn from a teacher or student like that??? My first Tai Chi/Kung Fu teacher is a senior student/instructor with Sifu Bolt (he taught outside of Sifu Bolt's class). He has a MASSIVE ego. He is good at what he does and could mop the floor with me. However, I began to notice that I was picking up his ego and thought that I was a badass. It only took a couple of classes with some of Sifu Bolt's instructors to be put in check and realize that I wasn't as good as I thought I was.
If I remember right, in Tao of Jeet Kune Do there is a saying that goes, "Don't speak of your strengths or weaknesses lest they both be tested." The best MA is the humble MA.
Personally, if I knew or thought I was a badass and was talking shit and trying to start a fight with someone who was or became very quiet and calm, that would undermine my confidence and rattle me more than anything. Empty cans rattle the loudest.>
Post: zefff:
Confidence is an amazing thing to me. I havent discussed or contemplated this in a long time so really need to refer to my old notes so excuse me if my rambling is about the houses. When I talk about confidence I dont mean chest out, chin up, swagger and pose. I mean harmony of intent and action - knowing your own capabilites as well as the capabilities or potential of your opponent at one point in time and space.
At the root confidence is the technique. It is the difference between performing a technique and knowing you can deliver the technique or actually becoming the technique. You, your opponent and the dynamic become one entity where 'it' must.
'Becoming the technique' is when confidence within you in a moment in time drives you to effortless performance. Effortless performance is not all about us though, the opponent is an equal part that is neccessary in the generation of the state. This state is gained through experience, knowing and awareness. This state at that particular point in time is a state where you become unaware of yourself (selfless) and it just happens.
Of course the state of selflessness is not easy to tap into because it is beyond the self which includes fear, morale, anger and common confidence (ego). When someone imposes themself on you its hard to be selfless because you are afraid, offended etc. so the key to effective martial arts is to develop decisiveness along with physical skill. We need decisiveness to free ourself from normal thinking that stops us becoming sociopaths in normal situations but to defeat someone totally you need to have total disregard (especially if they put you on the backfoot) for yourself as well as the opponent.
Accept that pain is part of life. I just got distracted by a phonecall so I'll end it here but decisiveness is key. You can have all the experience in the world as well as a precise knowledge of your capabilities and the capabilities of your opponent but you have to decide what you will do and do it. In sport, if you are losing you need to accept that fear and dejection will not get you what you stepped up for...but really (for the ring) the mind should be prepared long before the bout starts. Visualisation is key and it is there as well as past experience that you draw your reserves of strength from. Visualisation in absolutely every form of practice as well as at rest is a great builder of confidence! Visualise perfect performance, well being, strength, pain and fatigue, fear etc. Visualisation of good as well as overcoming bad is the number one developmental tool for confidence building in an athelete IMHO.
peace!>
Post: Triple T:
Quoting: The BadBoy;48594 I took one aside and had a chat with him, ramping him up. letting him know he had good hands etc. When he went into the next round he let his hands go and did a hell of a lot better than his last sparring session.
I'm not questioning you in the sense of criticism. How do you mean he did better? Everything else being equal, a boxer doesn't have to "let his hands go" to be good, such as a solid counter-puncher. Is the beginner in question not skilled enough yet to be conservative?
[quote=NBotary Tease - I agree that if the guy is a badass, he's got the right to brag. But, how oftern do you see a fighter like that get his ass royally handed to him and become humble??? ... in Tao of Jeet Kune Do there is a saying that goes, "Don't speak of your strengths or weaknesses lest they both be tested."[/quote
Obviously there are tons of egos out there where a whooping won't shut them up. IMHO, while it may be a little off-putting to some people for anyone in particular to be a walking advertisement for themselves, everyone has the right to believe and say what they will. It is specifically because we all know that the proof is in the pudding that I'd be willing to let egos inflate and became obnoxious. In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone has to say or what anyone thinks. As for the Tao of JKD quote, it reminds me a lot of those old kung fu masters not using their best techniques unless they absolutely have to. The restriction of information about one's self makes one more capable because opponents will not know what to exploit or what to avoid. If anyone wants to forego this tactical wisdom, so be it. It makes our lives easier.>
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